Monday, September 01, 2008
Die, Wasp, Die!
Despite a splendid summer’s day to start September in Sweden, Swedes know that, in the end, the calendar has the final say.
It doesn’t take long to find the silver lining to a fleeting Swedish summer. As the sun departs, so does something else synonymous with a Swedish summer, the only element of a Swedish summer no one celebrates or fondly remembers come December.
You can run, but you can’t hide.
It ruins picnics.
It alters Kubb matches.
It makes berry-picking a danger-filled activity.
It can make a Midsummer celebration a little less fertile.
It turns peace-loving Swedes into militant barbarians....
Swedes, and temporary Swedes, develop a sixth sense of unidentified flying objects in the summer time.
If there was a vote to increase taxes in order to eliminate this, it would be the first nationwide vote to be unanimously in favor.
What would hospital emergency rooms do in the summer time if not for this?
Unlike their European neighbors to the extreme south, no Swede would ever name a beloved transportation vehicle after this evil creature (“vespa”).
They move slowly, which is clearly divine license to kill.
No animal rights groups in Sweden would ever defend it.
I’ve heard that without these, and their similar species worldwide, the earth’s ecosystem would fail to the point of extinction of all natural life. If given the opportunity, Swedes would gladly take their chances.
Good-bye, precious summer. Good riddance, diabolical wasp.